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Psychiatric Hotline The telephone rings and an answering machine answers... "Welcome to the psychiatric hotline." If you are obsessive compulsive, please press one repeatedly. If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call. If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If your are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer you anyway. |
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" I've had a terrible time. I was so ill, I didn't even want to talk about it !" |
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A page three model walked into a doctor's surgery with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and as this obviously was a gunshot wound, would she please explain how it happened? The page three model said, "Well to be honest with you doctor… I was trying to commit suicide. I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait a minute, I just had all my teeth done, and I didn't want to ruin them. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait a minute, I had a nose job done not too long ago, and I didn't want to ruin that! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just had these boobs done, and I didn't want to ruin them! So then I stuck the gun in my ear, and then I thought, wait a minute… "this is going to be loud!" |
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A 'HOLE' LOT TO LIVE FOR |
